I have been a little distant to others for the last while.
I have been very distant to myself.
I have a friend who has ALS and I haven't been handling it very well.
I visit with her every Monday, as I have promised her.
I promised her about a year ago that things wouldn't change.
I promised I would still bring a little piece of sunshine into her life.
She has been fading faster from week to week,
and it gets harder to be the 'ray of sunshine'
She looks at her legs and comments how skinny they are.
I cannot reply to her comment.
Words escape me.
Thoughts do not though.
All I can think is, 'this can only get worse'
Often people ask how she is doing.
I used to feel like I had to protect them,
and tell them that she is doing good.
Not anymore.
Now I have to tell them the truth.
She cannot use her legs,
her fingers are failing.
She is strapped into a wheelchair.
She cannot swallow.
She cannot speak.
She cannot have a feeding tube.
She is physically wasting away.
... this can only get worse.
I promised myself I wouldn't treat her any differently.
That is almost the hardest thing.
Just in case you felt me being a little distant,
its just so that I don't distance myself from her.
10 years ago today, to My So Called Life was first broadcast.
I was addicted to the show from the start.
I loved Angela's red hair.
I hated her mother.
I was IN LOVE with her father.
I loved the way the show was about relationships.
lets skip to 10 years later.
I have been watching the show on
channel 66 (family channel or something) at 11:00 pm
since last Sunday night.
I am just glued to the set.
I still love Angela's red hair.
I still hate her mother.
I am still in love her father.
and I especially love how the show is all about relationships.
What's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere, like your life just figured out how to get good, like, that second
Kerewin and I chat.
